In my entire life, never have I consciously, honestly, and authentically related to men. As a cisgender heterosexual woman, admitting that fact is absolutely terrifying. Awake relationships with men? Where do you even start? How do I know what is the mask and what is the true authentic me? How can I fault any of the men from my past? I was not authentically me. I am a well-trained, co-dependent, people pleaser. Suspending years of habits and re-learning how to relate to men as my authentic self, while keeping clear boundaries to keep myself physically safe, this will be an adventure. Six days on Bumble. I am dating for experiences. I am rapidly radically honest about sex and boundaries for sex. I have totally forgotten how turned on I can actually get. It is amazing when you are not constantly activated how enjoyable straight-forward honest conversation with no mind altering substances (coffee does not count) are. I can articulate my desires. I can say I do not know. I am learning. I am receiving my desires. I am receiving gifts. I respect myself. I love myself. I have a beautiful, amazing life. Much more to come (pun intended).